World of the Dunciad

BOOK THE SECOND

See in the circle next, Eliza placed,
Two babes of love close clinging to her waist;
Fair as before her works she stands confess'd,
In flowers and pearls by bounteous Kirkall dress'd.
The goddess then: 'Who best can send on high
The salient spout, far-streaming to the sky;
His be yon Juno of majestic size,
With cow-like udders, and with ox-like eyes.
This China Jordan let the chief o'ercome
Replenish, not ingloriously, at home.'

Osborne and Curll accept the glorious strife,
(Though this his son dissuades, and that his wife 
One on his manly confidence relies,
One on his vigour and superior size.
First Osborne lean'd against his letter'd post;
It rose, and labour'd to a curve at most.
So Jove's bright bow displays its watery round
(Sure sign, that no spectator shall be drown'd),
A second effort brought but new disgrace,
The wild meander wash'd the artist's face:
Thus the small jet, which hasty hands unlock,
Spurts in the gardener's eyes who turns the cock.
Not so from shameless Curll; impetuous spread
The stream, and smoking flourish'd o'er his head.
So (famed like thee for turbulence and horns)
Eridanus his humble fountain scorns;
Through half the heavens he pours the exalted urn;
His rapid waters in their passage burn.

Swift as it mounts, all follow with their eyes:
Still happy impudence obtains the prize.
Thou triumph'st, victor of the high-wrought day,
And the pleased dame, soft-smiling, lead'st away.
Osborne, through perfect modesty o'ercome,
Crown'd with the Jordan, walks contented home.

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VII. Second Game: The Pissing Contest

     Eliza Haywood is being satirized by Pope for her indiscretion in publishing controversial novels with one bearing a libel on Pope's friend Martha Blount.  Part of Pope's anger undoubtedly stems from the fact that it is a woman who is publishing this material which he finds to be very indecorous.    
     Elisha Kirkall is claimed by Pope to have done engravings of Haywood's works although none have been discovered.  He may have confussed him with a George Vertue's frontispiece for Heywood.
     Eridanus is the classical name for the River Po.

     The wonderful lines:
          So Jove's bright bow displays its watery round
          (Sure sign, that no spectator shall be drown'd)
A comic allusion to the Biblical story of the Flood where God promises to never again bring destruction on the earth and leaves the rainbow as a seal on his promise.